The Indian’s A to Z of 2020
A for ASYMPTOMATIC. We learnt a new word but we’re still clueless about whether those lucky folks are unlucky for others.
BABY talk was back with Virushka, Saifeena, while the rest of us discovered the board games could pin kids down for a while
We usually have a word of the year but this was a year of the word: COVID:19
Indians prefer D-I-Bai to D-I-Y but this was the year we learnt to do everything from haircuts to home improvement on our own — till we no longer had to of course
The era of EMOJIS. Emotions during the pandemic season were best expressed in e-language.
From banana bread to Dalgona coffee to the round roti challenge, FOOD pretty much took up all our time in lockdown — whether we were making it, eating, avoiding it or burning calories
GOA became the aam aadmi’s Maldives as celebs jaunted off to the real deal
HUM SAATH SAATH HAIN was great for a while till we longed for Kabhi Alvida Toh Kehna
It has now been understood that you need to ISOLATE yourself if you are found showing symptoms.
JUDGING others has long been one of India’s favourite pastimes (that’s why we liked Indian Matchmaking), but this year we got to judge people for not wearing masks and then judge others for judging people for not wearing masks
KISAN spirit was in full display. No, we’re not talking about part-time farmer Salman Khan but the guys who braved water cannons and allegations to hold their morchas
A period of complete restrictions when everyone’s true hair colour was revealed. E.g. LOCKDOWN was what was needed for a whole bunch of people to learn that ‘sufficient time home alone” was not that only thing needed to write a great novel.
If there’s one more thing that helped us through our stuck-home syndrome, it was LIQUOR. While some folks with foresight had stocked up on both daru and dal-chawal as soon as the lockdown was announced, the others had to make do with sniffing their alcohol-laden sanitisers
MID-MORNING COFFEE (also known as mid-afternoon coffee) An amazing drink except with tequila, lime juice, triple sec and no coffee. E.g. Let me get my mid-morning coffee, the ideas will really begin to flow when I have that in my system
NINE to whenever work ends became the new nine to five. Long live a work-life balance
Both a blessing and a curse, ONLINE CLASSES made sure parents could work for a few hours every day, but that too was interrupted by, “Mama, it isn’t connecting, do something!”
PLANS. Woh kya hota hai?
Top scientists around the world currently breaking heads on vaccine WhatsApp QUACKS: Boil 3 spices from kitchen masala cabinet and virus bhaag jayega
The truth is this year, RASODE mein kaun nahin tha. While the meme became an obsession for a while, a lot of us became well-acquainted with our rasodas this year
SOCIAL DISTANCING (also referred to as anti-social distancing) Using lockdown as the perfect reason to avoid everyone you don’t like. E.g. Introverts are desperate for social-distancing rules to be lifted so everyone they live with will leave the house
TIKTOK, that national pastime, was rudely snatched away while we got thails to bang on
The different phases of UNLOCK came as a breather for the many months spent in lockdown.
VACCINE. Is it coming? No, not the virus. This elixir, panacea, ticket out of hum saath saath hain all the time. Also known as hope in a syringe. E.g. The vaccine should first be tested on politicians. If they are okay, the vaccine is safe, if they aren’t, the country is safe
Yes, WiFi has been a lifeline long before 2020, but our routers have been never quite been so precious. With Work from home (WFH) wearing pyjamas to snack, clean, cook, snack, answer emails, attend calls, snack, etc, they became both a necessity and a go-to procrastination excuse (So sorry, my WiFi isn’t working was a favourite, followed by not turning your video on and blaming it on a spotty connection)
XOXO For many of us, the only hugs and kisses we got were virtual
YOU’RE ON MUTE! The most used words in 2020.
From meeting crashers to unwitting boss bashers, ZOOM ensured we remained human in chat windows. By the way, has anyone else forgotten they are on a Zoom meeting with the video on and inadvertently started plucking lint out of their belly button? If not, then me neither
THE END….
Not here by any means but hopefully close. E.g. It’s the end of 2020! Things can’t possibly get any worse next year, so they can only get better!
This unprecedented dictionary for unprecedented times is available on order in a classy leatherite bound volume. You can invest in this for the coronials in your life. Meanwhile, Happy 2021. Stay safe, stay healthy and remember — keep the mid-morning coffee close at hand. You never know what the New Year has in store!
